Phoenix Ranger Featherman-Are You Serious?
by HeyMrSandman
Summary: Yu gathers the entire Investigation team together at the Dojima Residence for a mysterious meeting.
1. The Meeting

Kanji rang the bell, still trying to catch his breath. There was no answer. No Senpai or little Nanako coming to the door. _I don't have time for this,_ Kanji thought _I got all them cuddly toys to make_. Kanji raised his fist and started to pound the door "Come on man, open up! I got placed to be!"

The door opened. "Heya Kanji-kun!"

"Teddie? The hell are you doing here?"

"Sensei invited us all over. Wow, you're really late Kanji-kun." Teddie stepped back and waved his arm into the room where the rest of the Investigation Team, sans Yu, were sat.

"Well some of us had stuff to do." Kanji said as he pushed his way past Teddie into the room.

"Hey, so was I! He called me up halfway through a shift and told me it was an emergency. I could only get away by promising to work the whole weekend. What a drag." Yosuke said. Sure enough, he was still wearing his Junes uniform.

"Like you're the only busy one. I was training, y'know!" Chie said, twisting to scowl at Yosuke.

"Yeah, 'cause it's not like you can't do that any time." Yosuke replied, rolling his eyes and slouching back on the couch.

"I have a very strict regime! And at least I train, not goof off and play videogames!" Chie yelled back, standing up in order to loom over Yosuke.

"This is getting us nowhere. Perhaps we should try to work out why Yu-san called us all here." Naoto said, in a rather firm tone. Chie and Yosuke looked each other in the eye for a moment.

"Fine." Chie said, sinking back to the floor.

"Well, Yu-kun told me it was an emergency too," Yukiko said. "But he's not here. Maybe something's happened."

"That seems unlikely. Nanako was still here to let me in when I arrived, and she wasn't worried. If Yu-san really thought that whatever has drawn him away was so important, I imagine he'd have left some kind of message for us." Naoto said, closing her eyes and furrowing her brow in thought.

"Then maybe Senpai's got some kind of surprise for us?" Rise ventured.

"And that whole emergency thing was just a ruse?," Chie asked "Man that's low, making us all worry like that."

"We should not judge his intentions without first establishing why we were called her." Naoto answered. The Investigation Team fell silent, each following their own particular train of thought.

"Where is Nanako anyway?" Kanji asked.

Naoto turned to Kanji "Kanji-kun, you're sweating. You should sit down and rest. Here, there is room next to me."

"Wha-uh. Thanks. I'll er-do that." Kanji walked over to the table and sat down next to Naoto, very conscious of the distance between them and very worried whether Naoto would think he was too close or too far away.

"Hey! That was my seat!," Teddie said. The gang turned to look at him, and saw he was now holding a juice box.

"Well you weren't using it. Where the hell'd that juice box come from anyway? I want some." Kanji replied.

"Too bad. I found it in Sensei's fridge, which makes it mine." Teddie said with one of his winning smiles.

"Dude, those things were probably for Nanako." Yosuke said.

A look of horror crept over Teddie's face. "I've been drinking Nana-chan's juice boxes this whole time!"

"Wait, boxes? How many of those have you had, Teddie?" Yukiko asked.

"A whole bunch! This is the last one." Teddie stared at the juice box in his hand, lower lip trembling.

"Gimme that," Kanji said, snatching the box from his hands. "And find your own place to sit." Kanji caught a whiff of his armpits as he did so, and immediately clamped his arms to his sides.

"Can I sit with you, Rise-chan?" Teddie asked.

Rise pouted and turned her head, letting out a "Hmph"

"Yuki-chan?"

"Sorry, I don't sit with juice thieves." She answered, doing her best to look legitimately sorry.

"Why do you even have a rule for that?" Yosuke asked.

"I can sit with you, right, Chie-chan?" Teddie asked, tears welling in his eyes.

"Hey, why am I your last choice?"

Yosuke groaned. "Just sit on the couch with me. There's plenty of room."

"Ah, I knew you wouldn't let me down Yosuke!"Teddie said, skipping over to the couch and flopping down.

"Looks like you weren't Teddie's last choice after all, Chie." Yukiko said with a smile.

"I don't think that's what she meant, Yukiko-senpai..." Rise whispered to her.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Yukiko answered.

"Now that we've all chosen seats," Naoto interjected "Perhaps we can try to decipher what to do next?"

"Have you tried calling him?" Kanji asked.

"Oh! Of Course! Senpai's cell phone!" Rise said, face lighting up.

"You mean you guys haven't even tried his cell? Man, and I thought I was the dumb one." Kanji shook his head.

"I'll call him." Yosuke said, reaching into his pocket for his phone.

"It's OK, I have Senpai on speed dial," Rise said, already flipping her phone open. She dialled and held the phone to her ear. "Senpai? Where are you? We've all been waiting."

"I'm upstairs," Yu answered "I've been waiting for you to call."

"What? Why?" Rise asked.

"Hang on, I'll come down." Yu said, then hung up.

"He hung up on me!" Rise said, frowning at her phone.

"Did he say where he is or why he called us here?" Naoto asked.

"Yeah, he said he'd been upstairs waiting for us this whole time." Rise answered.

"What? He can be seriously weird sometimes." Yosuke moaned.

"Shut up! He'll hear you." Chie chided him. As she spoke came down the stairs Yu stepped into the room, carrying a large cardboard box.

"It's too late Chie, I heard him," Yu said. If he was upset at being called weird, his face didn't show it. "And don't worry Yosuke, this will always make perfect sense in a moment."

"Oh Sensei! I'm so sorry! I drank all Nanako's juice boxes!," Teddie flung himself at Yu, burying his face in Yu's shoulder. "Will you ever forgive me?"

"Huh? Nanako's? I bought those for you guys."

"The hell? You mean I could have been drinking this all along?" Kanji shouted, staring at the half-drunk juice box in his hand. He ripped out the straw and upended the juice box, squeezing it tightly. The top of the box burst open and the juice fell into Kanji's waiting mouth in one giant stream.

"Are-are you alright Kanji-kun?" Yukiko asked. The whole group was staring at him. Kanji looked around, noticing their stares.

"I'm fine. I was just a little thirsty is all." He said defensively.

"If Kanji-kun and Teddie-san are quite finished, perhaps we could get down to why Yu-senpai called us all here." Naoto said, a note of annoyance in her voice.

"Yeah, why did he have to meet here instead of the food court? How am I meant to focus without steak?" Chie asked.

"Like I said, this box will clear everything up. It's not exactly something we could open up in the food court." Yu answered, face as blank as ever.

"What, like new weapons?," Yosuke asked. "Is there something in there for me?"

"No. No weapons." Yu answered.

"I'm gonna be using these same damn knives forever." Yosuke moaned, sinking down into the couch.

"So what is it, senpai?" Rise asked.

"I'm glad you asked. Now, it's time for the grand unveiling!"He drew his sword from its scabbard and help it aloft, brow furrowed.

"Did-did he have that when he came into the room?" Kanji asked. Nobody answered, they all stared, transfixed as Yu sliced the tape keeping the box shut in one clean swipe of his sword.

"I give you, the ultimate armour of heroes!" Yu shouted, sliding his sword back into its scabbard.

Rise giggled "You're so cool when you pose like that senpai."

Teddie dove into the box and started to tear apart the wrapping. He pulled out two costumes, one bright green and the other bright yellow. "Woohoo! I love it! What are they?"

"Are those...Phoenix Ranger Featherman R costumes?" Yosuke asked.

"They...sure look like it." Chie answered.

"In fact, those two costumes are for the two of you." Yu told them, sword now gone from his hands.

"What?" Chie and Yosuke shouted in unison.

"Yosuke will be the Yellow Ranger, and Chie the Green Ranger." Yu answered.

"Hey, where'd the sword go?" Kanji asked.

"I realise you are both our leader and in charge of our funds, Yu-senpai, but was this really the best choice?" Naoto asked, trying to regain her composure.

"Which costume is mine, senpai? Ooh, am I the Pink Ranger?" Rise asked.

"I didn't get you one. There's only seven Rangers and, well, you don't fight." Yu said, turning to her.

"What? How could you leave me out? Besides, don't these shows normally have some sort of wise mentor that gives advice and information to the team?" Rise demanded, slamming her hands down on the table.

"No, the Blue Ranger does all that in Phoenix Ranger." Kanji said.

"Wow Kanji! You sure know a lot about kid's shows!" Teddie said, a big goofy grin on his face.

"Sh-shut up." was all Kanji could muster in response.

"So who is it senpai? Who's your precious Blue Ranger?" Rise asked, face puffing up in something between anger and upset.

"Naoto, of course. She's the brains of the group so she's the brainy Ranger." Yu answered.

"I-I'm flattered senpai, but I don't think I can wear one of those costumes."

"It's OK, it's a boy costume." He told her.

"Even so..." Naoto said, unable to find the words. Yukiko had spent the entire exchange staring at her hands. But then she stood, one arm stretched out in front of her.

"Phoenix Ranger Featherman R!" she shouted!

"Yukiko, what are you doing?" Chie asked, trying to pull her back down.

"Oh come on, like you never wanted to be a Sentai hero when you were young." Yukiko said, looking down at Chie.

Before Chie could answer, Kanji stood, striking a pose of his own. "Phoenix Ranger Featherman R!"

"Phoenix Ranger Featherman R!" Teddie shouted, throwing his arms up into the air.

"Ugh fine," Chie said, climbing to her feet. "Phoenix Ranger Featherman R!"

"Ph-Phoenix Ranger Featherman R?" Naoto said, standing slowly but throwing up no pose.

"This is ridiculous." Yosuke said, remaining firmly embedded in the couch.

"Dude, don't be that guy." Kanji said.

"Alright, if you insist," Yosuke said. Then he sprung to his feet and struck a pose "Phoenix Ranger Featherman R!"

At that moment, the front door opened and Nanako stepped into the room. "What are you guys doing?" she asked.

"Oh! Nana-chan! Sensei bought us these really cool Phoenix Ranger costumes." Teddie said, facing lighting up at the sight of her.

"Wow, big bro's so generous. Are you all gonna go play? Can I play too?" Nanako asked, walking further into the room.

The entire gang was taken aback for a moment, nobody knew what to tell her. It was Yu that spoke up first. "Sure. We were going to suit up and go play out in the garden."

"Yay!," Nanako smile was bright and sincere enough that nobody could muster and objection to this new plan. "What's wrong Rise? You don't look happy."

"There's no costume for me." She said, face falling again.

"You can wear my Loveline costume if you want. It's just the hat and wand, though." Nanako said, walking over to comfort Rise.

"Aw, Nana-chan. You're the coolest," Rise said, putting her arm around Nanako. "It's OK, we can be the big scary monsters! And if I ever do want a costume, I can always just dress up as Risette!"

"Yeah! Risette's the coolest." Nanako smiled.

Over the other side of the room, Yu was handing out the costumes. "Here Kanji, you're the Black Ranger. And the white one's for you, Teddie."

"Uh oh! Sensei, this won't fit over my bear suit." Teddie said, face breaking out in worry as he held the costume in front of him.

"I'll alter it for you later," Kanji said "For now, just play in the damn thing so we can keep Nanako happy."


	2. Getting Dressed

"Come on, hurry up in there. The rest of us have to get changed too y'know." Yosuke said, knocking on bathroom door.

"Just a minute! These things are skin tight! They're beary difficult to get on!" Teddie shouted back through the door.

"Wh-wait, skin tight? Does that mean the girls are-" Yosuke said, lost in contemplation.

"What's wrong with getting changed out here?" Yu asked, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Dude! Put your clothes back on! Tell him, Kanji." Yosuke said, trying to back himself against the bathroom door.

Kanji's cheeks were a bright red, his eyes studiously avoiding Yu as his senpai started to unbutton his jeans. "I-I'm gonna go get changed on the living room."

Yu rounded on Kanji, jeans falling to the floor as he raised his hand to point an accusatory finger at Kanji. "You will not bare your body before my precious Nanako!"

Kanji blinked at him. His eyes travelled down Yu's chest before snapping back up to his face. "I'll just go watch TV with her then. That OK?"

Yu thought on this for a moment. "Only if you promise not to sully her innocence."

"Sure senpai, whatever you say." Kanji inched away from Yu and down the stairs as fast as he dared.

"Dude, please pull your pants up." Yosuke whined.

Downstairs, Rise and Nanako were sitting by the table. "Kanji? Aren't you going to get changed?" Nanako asked, looking up at him with her big, bright eyes.

"Teddie was hogging the bathroom and senpai started stripping in the hall so I thought I'd come wait down here. Speaking of which, what're you doing down here Rise?" Kanji told her, not sure whether he should go sit with them or not. He settled for leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Well it's not like _I_ had anything to get changed into." Rise said, frowning at Kanji.

"I'm sorry. I would have let you use my room but-" Nanako started.

"I know. I don't begrudge Naoto wanting a room to get changed in by herself." Kanji tried to keep his thoughts away from that idea, lest he turn bright red again.

"You're so nice Kanji, I bet that's why Naoto likes you!" Nanako said, smiling.

Kanji slipped and near fell. "She what? What did she say?" he asked once he had regained his footing.

Nanako was confused. "She didn't say anything. But you're all friends, so you must all like each other, right?"

"Yeah. That's right. Silly me." Kanji scratched the back of his head, hoping his heart would get some rest today as it thumped in his chest. Rise gave him a wry smile.

Before he could ask what it was about, Yu and Teddie came down the stairs. Both were wearing their costumes and holding their helmets under their arms. "I hope you've been behaving yourself, Kanji." Yu said, fixing him with a suspicious stare.

"Course I have! Ask Nanako!" Kanji retorted, cheeks filling with colour again.

Before Yu could, Rise spoke. "Oh wow. I-I didn't expect them to fit so _well_, senpai," Now it was Rise's turn to blush. "Ooh, I should take a picture of this." She whipped out her phone and clicked on the camera function.

"I want a picture with big bro!" Nanako said, climbing to her feet.

"You gotta take a picture of me too!" Teddie chimed in, throwing his arms in the air.

"Wait! One at a time! Just senpai first." Rise said, fiddling with her phone's settings.

"Of course, the Red Ranger must lead his team in all things," Yu said, steeping forward and jamming his helmet on his head. He struck a pose. "Red Hawk!"

Rise took the picture. "Aaaand save," she smiled. "You look good senpai. You should wear it more often."

"My turn!" Nanako chimed. Before they could take the picture, Yosuke came down the stairs.

"Dude, this thing fits way too well. I don't even wanna know how you knew my size." he moaned, trying to pull the fabric into a more comfortable position as he walked into the front room.

"We're partners Yosuke. I have to know everything about you." Yu said through his helmet.

"What? Now I'm even more worried," Yosuke said.

"Guess I'd better go get changed." Kanji said, heading towards the stairs. The gang stood watching the TV in silence.

"Hey, where are the girls?" Yosuke asked.

"Right here." came Chie's shaky voice from the stairs. She and Yukiko walked into the room. Yukiko walked with confidence, head held high. Chie tried to stay behind Yukiko as much as possible.

Yukiko looked at Yu. "Pink Argus reporting for duty." she said.

Yu nodded. "At ease."

"Ooh, this is going to be too much fun!" Teddie said.

"You guys are way too into this." Chie said, eyes fixed on the floor.

"For what it's worth, I think you look great in your costume Chie." said Yosuke, having finally stopped pinching and tugging at the fabric.

"Wh-hey!" Stop looking, pervert!" Chie shouted, trying to move Yukiko to better block Yosuke's view.

"Why are you yelling at me? I was just trying to be nice." Yosuke responded.

"Yellow Owl, that's enough. I can't have you harassing members of my team." Yu said in a stern voice.

Kanji came down the stairs, his costume as tight on him as on everyone else. "Can we get this over with already?" he whined.

"Nuh-uh Yosuke-kun. We're still waiting on Naoto-chan." Teddie said "Ooh, should I go get here."

"You stay right where you are. I know you, you'll just barge in on her while she's changing." Chie snapped.

Rise smiled her wry smile again and looked over at Kanji. "I think Kanji-kun should go get her."

"Hm. Very well. Check her status, Black Condor." Yu said.

"Me? Why do I got to go?" Kanji asked, too embarrassed by the idea to be suspicious of Rise.

Yu rounded on him. "You have your orders! If we can't work together as a team, well never be able to defeat the Majin Death Lord!"

"Big bro, it's not nice to shout at friends." Nanako said, frowning at Yu.

"Sorry Nana-chan." Yu said, hanging his head in shame. Yukiko couldn't help but snicker

"Alright alright I'm going. Sheesh." Kanji said, placing his helmet on the counter. He set off up the stairs, stopping for a moment on the landing as he tried to remember which room was Nanako's.

"Hey, you still in there?" Kanji asked, knocking on the door.

"Just-just a minute!" he heard Naoto say from within, her voice much higher than its usual, carefully modulated tone.

"Something wrong in there?" he asked. There was silence for a moment, before Naoto opened the door and walked back into the room. She was still wearing her regular clothes. The costume was in a bundle on the floor.

"I can't wear this." she said, sinking down on the bed.

"Why not? Is it the wrong size or something?" Kanji asked, stepping tentatively into the room.

"It's not that I don't appreciate Yu-senpai trying to do something for us, and I know it's a boy's costume. It's just...it...doesn't leave much to the imagination."

"Oh," Kanji nodded "Oh! I mean, er, right. I getcha."

"What am I to do? I don't want to like Nanako-chan and the others down." Naoto said, more to herself than to Kanji.

"I can always alter it to," Kanji gulped "Fit you better."

"Really? You'd do that for me?" Naoto asked, looking up at Kanji in shock.

"Yeah sure. I'm already doing Teddie's so it fits over that stupid bear costume of his." Kanji shrugged.

"Thank you Kanji-kun, but that doesn't help me today," Naoto sighed. "I suppose I had best go break the news." she stood and started to make her way towards the door.

"No, wait." Kanji said.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Hang on, I'm thinking," Kanji said, gears whirring in his head. "Hey, I got it. Let Rise wear that today and you play the monster instead."

"That...is not a bad plan. Are you sure Rise-san will agree to that?" Naoto asked, thinking the matter over.

"I think so. Hell, if she'll wear a bikini on TV she'll wear a costume in senpai's back yard." Kanji nodded.

"You're right, Kanji-kun. I will text her," Naoto took out her phone and flipped it open. "By the way, you look good in your costume."

Kanji blushed furiously. "O-oh, you think?" he twisted his torso and looked down at himself to save him from having to meet Naoto's eyes.

Naoto's eyes followed Kanji's body for a moment before she shook her head and turned back to her phone, trying to remember what she was about to do.


	3. Snippets

Kanji and Yosuke stood by the door as Chie and Yukiko filed out into the garden. Yosuke spared an appreciative glance at the girls as they walked past. "Dude, I'm starting to really change my mind on this whole costume thing." he said.

Kanji slapped the back of his head. "Quit eyeballing the girls. They ain't parading around for your amusement."

"Hey! That was uncalled for." Yosuke whined.

"You want me to tell Chie-senpai what you said instead?" Kanji asked.

"I was just saying."

"Yukiko," Chie said, dropping her helmet to the floor to sit on it. Yukiko didn't answer. "Hey, Yuki!"

"I am not Yukiko." she replied.

Chie sighed. "Fine, Pink Argus. Can you answer a question? _As Yukiko?_"

Yukiko relaxed her rigid stance and turned to Chie. "Sorry, I guess I got a little too in character there. What did you want to ask?"

Chie scrunched her face in annoyance. "What do you think Yosuke meant when he said I look good in this?"

"That...you look good in it?" Yukiko replied, tilting her head.

"Yosuke can be such a creeper, you know? Normally he'd be all 'Whoah, the girls look super hot!' or something, but he wasn't." Chie said, trying to twist her thoughts into words.

Yukiko giggled.

"What's so funny?" Chie asked.

"Your Yosuke impression. It was too perfect." Yukiko managed before bursting into laughter.

"It wasn't anywhere near that funny." Chie grumbled.

Once her laughter subsided, Yukiko took a deep breath and spoke. "I know what you mean. He can be pretty thoughtless, but I think he was really trying to be nice this time, given how nervous you were."

"That doesn't sound much like Yosuke to me," Chie said "And will you take that stupid helmet off already?"

Yukiko pulled the helmet off and shook her head. "Did I get helmet hair?" she asked.

"No. It looks great, as always," Chie said, resting her head in her hand. "What's with you and this Phoenix Ranger thing anyway?"

Yukiko gave a small smile. "I watched it when I was younger. Kanji-kun and I would talk about it at school. My parents wouldn't buy me the toys, so Kanji let me play with his."

"Oh gee, I guess this is one big nostalgia trip for you then." Chie said, blinking in surprise.

"Yeah, but I did always like the Green Ranger best."

Naoto leant against the fence on the fair side of the garden, watching the others. She saw Nanako come across the garden towards her. "Um, Naoto-kun, are you OK?" Nanako asked.

"Yes, Nanako-chan. I'm sorry if I seem unenthusiastic. It's just...this isn't how I normally spend my time. I'm not sure what to do."

"It's OK. You don't have to play if you don't want to. I won't mind." Nanako smiled.

"That's very kind of you," Naoto found herself smiling back. "But I think it would be good for us all to unwind together."

"Oh yeah, you're a detective just like my dad! I bet 's real hard work. My dad's always so tired." Nanako said, keeping the smile on her face.

"I can be quite taxing, yes." Naoto replied.

Nanako hugged Naoto's waist. "Thank you."

Naoto was taken aback. "For what?"

"For keeping us all safe," Nanako said, breaking the hug. "Dad says that's why he has to be away so much. All those murders were really scary, but I feel safe with big bro and all his friends here. Especially you, Naoto-kun!"

Yu was alone in the living room, cleaning up the detritus that had once been packing for the costumes. When Rise came down the stairs to the image of Yu bent over the table, she snuck over to where she had left her phone on the kitchen counter and snapped a picture. Yu turned at the sound. "Rise. Thanks again for doing this. I didn't mean to leave you out." he said.

"I know. But it felt like you were thinking of everyone but me." Rise pouted.

"Trust me, you're never far from my thoughts." Yu reassured her.

"Really?," Rise smiled. "Anyways, what do you think?" she twirled and struck a pose decidedly different from the group's earlier heroic poses.

"I'm surprised it fits so well." Yu said.

"You wouldn't say that if you were the one wearing it. It's pinching in some really uncomfortable places." Rise said.

"I think I ordered them a little too tight." Yu admitted, scratching the nape of his neck.

"Just a little," Rise giggled "Still, it's no _so_ bad." she said, holding her hands behind her back and looking down at the floor.

"Rise, I've been thinking-" Yu started.

Teddie popped his head up over the kitchen counter. "Hey Sensei, you got any more of these?" Teddie asked, waving an empty box of candy.

Rise jumped "How long have you been down there?" She shouted.

"A while," Teddie shrugged. "I got hungry."

"I think there's a candy bar in the fridge." Yu said.

"Thanks Sensei!," Teddie said, taking the bar "I'd best get out there and rally the team." He skipped off out into the garden.

Silence hung between Yu and Rise afterwards. It was Yu that spoke first. "We should probably get out there too."

"Right. Of course." Rise said, heart bounding in her chest.


End file.
